Calling the NICU for a 2AM update and hearing your kid screaming in the background… kinda rips your heart out a little bit. She’s hungry. She’s uncomfortable. We’re supposed to be able to pop out of bed and go to comfort her when she’s screaming like that. Instead I’m getting a report from a stranger.

The doc said earlier today that Leah’s chest x-rays from yesterday and today looked worse than the x-rays from last weekend. She is pretty sure Bug is aspirating but isn’t sure how to prevent it aside from vigilant monitoring of the tube as well as keeping the kid calm (so much for that). They advanced her repogle another 2 cm (which I asked about like 3 weeks ago and was told it was unnecessary). She doesn’t seem to be tolerating it well, though. It keeps sticking to the lining of her throat and therefore not suctioning. Maybe they should have started with one extra centimeter.

This took the tireless efforts of two exhausted but determined mamas utilizing such tricks as Mama’s Knervous Knee (built-in bouncy chair!) and Magical Mommysongs. It worked, but apparently it didn’t last long.

Not a ton to update today. BabyBug was more comfortable today (well, yesterday, technically, but I haven’t gone to sleep yet so it’s still “today”) than she was yesterday (well, Saturday, technically, etc.), but she was still pretty squirmy and pissed off to have to be hooked up to so many extra tubes. She has two IVs – one in her hand and one in her foot – as well as the nasal cannula and all the usual stuff. Plus she has to get her mouth and Mic-Key button swabbed with medicine for the thrush. With all of that going on, I’m surprised she did as well as she did today. Let’s keep hoping for no more fevers!!! And it’d be nice if she could go back to breathing independently, without extra oxygen.

I realize that it has been many days since I have bombarded you with photos. Therefore, I shall make it up to you now. Behold: the photos I have been hoarding since the last update:

“Like, omigawd, totally, gag me with a spoooon.” OMG. Is my child going to pick up my Valley-girl accent?

The “thing.” The nurses have us wear this under our shirts for a bit while we’re in the NICU so Baby has something that smells like us when we’re not there. Nobody is really sure what to call it so it’s just kind of “the thing.”

I see little toesies! Do you see little toesies?

Snuggling with Uncle Ralph!

Chillin’ with Grandpa Bill

Did you miss these little toesies?

Not gonna lie – we giggled like 12-year-olds over this. And then we fixed it so that she was giving a peace-sign instead. This one, she came up with all by herself.

“UHHHRRR?” (a la “Home Improvement”)

Aunti Staci needed a pick-me-up. Babyhawk!

Pretty girl basking in… um, as close to sunlight as she’s seen so far.

Who’s our pretty tubeless girl?

“Who, moi?”

BabyBug sporting Beiber bangs, but in an ironic hipster sort of way. Look at that face.

Mommy and BabyBug enjoying some snuggly time.

BabyBug practicing what her Aunti Staci taught her – the art of the selfie. These are MySpace-worthy.

Sweet Buggy Bug puts up with so much. But she LOVES her behind-the-ear rubs. “Dear Mommy. Do not ever stop. Thank you.”

LOVE. THIS. FACE. Sweet Bug. Notice the ears sticking out due to Mommy being the bestest ever and giving another ear rub.

“I love you, Mommy.”

BabyBug showing off her pretty froggies.

BabyBug’s really bad acid trip.

Whew. Today was a much more slow day than yesterday, but it was still a long one!

So, yesterday. BabyBug had a nice visit with her Aunti Staci in the morning and even got to snuggle with her for a bit. Eventually Leah started getting cranky, and so I took her back (which should explain the picture my little punk of a sister posted yesterday on Facebook, for those of you who saw it. LOL). The gauze on her Mic-Key button was wet and needed to be replaced, so the nurse cleared it up so she could put new gauze on. Unfortunately some of the fibers were stuck to the granulation tissue around the Mic-Key, so it was not a fun experience for Leah. She screamed and screamed, and got herself so worked up that she just would not stop crying. She went on like this for quite some time, and was spitting out her suction tube at the same time. At some point in the craziness, she must have irritated the lining of her throat or nicked something somewhere, because her secretions started turning red and blood started coming out of the tube. She was even spitting bloody spitballs, and it got caked all around her little mouth. She looked like she just came off the set of True Blood. Vampire Baby!

So here’s the part where I got really ticked off. Generally speaking, the nurses in the NICU are wonderful, and even when we get a little frustrated sometimes, I try not to let it spill into the blog, because again, the nurses are good at what they do, and it’s not fair to complain to the world if things aren’t 100% perfect, because things will never be 100% perfect. Plus you never know who’s reading and it would be really hurtful for somebody to read negative comments about themselves in somebody else’s blog. But both in the NICU and just generally in life, there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Our nurse had to take her break during the time Leah was screaming non-stop (seriously, this went on for at least 30-45 minutes, and they seem pretty strict about enforcing breaks). While our nurse was gone, I was doing everything I could think of to console the baby, and she would get calmer for a minute or two and then start screaming again. After a few minutes, the nurse who was covering for our nurse during her break walked right up to me from across the room, plucked Leah out of my arms, and started trying to comfort the baby herself.

Here’s a tip: If a mother is trying to console her sobbing baby and has not asked for your help, DO NOT snatch Baby out of Mother’s arms and try to quiet her yourself. Don’t even ask if you can try. Because no matter what, the message that comes across is, “You’re failing, and I think I can do it better.” And that’s not cool. Have an idea about what might be bothering her? Okay. Tell me that. Suggestions are cool. Grabbing is not. And yes, it’s the NICU, so I get it – if a nurse has to come grab the baby because something is wrong, then absolutely, they should. They need to do what they have to do for the baby’s safety. But NICU parents have little enough control as it is – it’s important to let us do what we can, and unless it involves administering medical treatment, comforting a crying baby is definitely parental territory.

Anyway, when she failed to quiet Leah down after a minute or two, I asked for my child back, and proceeded, FINALLY, to calm her. LeahBug, your timing is impeccable.

< / rant >

So. The rest of the day yesterday wasn’t TOO bad – Baby continued to be cranky on and off throughout the day, largely because her tube kept getting clogged. Once she fell asleep we decided to head out and let her get some rest, but we needed more Baby Time, so we went back to the NICU around 9:30 and stayed until just after midnight. That was a much nicer visit.

Today Leah got a visit from her Aunti Staci, her Grandma Barbie, and her Great-Grandpa Mannie, who held her for the very first time. She screamed for a minute or two once my grandpa was holding her, but after that she fell asleep pretty quickly. She must like him!

We are precious! Our little bow is adorable! We like to look at our Aunti Staci’s funny face.

“Aunti Staci is so silly!”

Does this even need a caption?

Wiiiiiide awake baby

Loopy baby

EmoBug

Sweet bug getting her Mic-Key button checked. She went through several outfits yesterday because it kept leaking!

Kinda vampire baby! Mandy had already mopped her up at this point, but she missed a spot! She kinda does look a little vampire-ish here. We should get her the vampire paci. Hahaha.

Tubeless baby! Little Bug had to have her tube out a few times yesterday.

Wide-eyed tubeless baby!

“What is it?”

Knocked out after a looooong and exhausting day!

Sweet calm sleepy-pie after her visit with Great-Grandpa Mannie.

Baby Burrito! With kitties!

We picked up BabyBug’s birth certificate today so we could finish up some administrivia at Mandy’s work. I am officially listed as Father/Parent. I guess it’s better than just “Father.” When you submit the request for the certificate, the form asks for the father’s full name and the mother’s maiden name. The lady at the county clerk’s office asked, “And what’s the father’s name, again?” I was like… “Um, that’s me.” Good times.

After our trip to the registrar/county clerk’s office, we stopped by Mandy’s work to drop off the paperwork, and got to say hello to some of Mandy’s colleagues. Hi everybody! It was nice to see you today!

Then we fiiiiinally got to the NICU, where we found BabyBug in WIDE AWAKE mode. Oh man. She was soooo awake. She isn’t quite making eye contact yet, but you can tell she’s looking at you because she kind of looks like she’s looking over your head. Maybe she sees the ghosts at our shoulders or something. SO she just kept loooooooking and staaaaaring. See for yourself:

I especially enjoy the lady-like little snorts.

We are WIDE AWAKE!

So, the little sweetheart and I had a nice time making faces at each other for a good while, and then when her eyes started to flutter a bit, we had a deep and meaningful chat about the sorts of things she can’t do to her big brothers when she comes home. For example:

1. No pulling tails.
2. No riding the kitties as if they were ponies.
3. We only pet in one direction – from head to tail. NOT the other way.
4. No using kitties as pillows (ahem, Aunti Staci!)
5. No putting dresses on the kitties, even if Jeepers Creepers would look beautiful in yesterday’s yellow number.
6. When we get a bicycle, we cannot carry the kitties in our handlebar basket.
7. No bringing kitties to school in our backpacks. They are not for show-and-tell.

By the time we were finished with this serious discussion, Leah was fast asleep. Mission accomplished!

BabyBug naps on Mommy’s chest.

Empress Baby on her throne.

First: Happy birthday, Grandma Marilyn!!! Your great-grandbug loves you!

BabyBug had a big day today! She got to meet a whooooole bunch of cousins (okay, four) plus her great-aunt and great-uncle (on Gran’s side). She had lots of fun, except for that part where we put her in another dress. It’s a little big since it’s size 3 mo, but she had to show it off for her great-uncle since he bought it for her! The result is that she looks kind of like she’s going to a debutante ball. She was not happy about the dress, although to be fair most of that displeasure was at the fact that once again we had to dress her before nom-nom time. Result: Aaaaaaangry baby.

“Another dress??? Phhhthhththththththt is what I say! You’ll never get me into that!”

“Awww, crap.”

“I’M SO HUMILIATED! AGAIN!”

Angry Shirley Temple?

“On the other hand, I am pretty freakin’ darling.”

“Okay. I accept my appointment as Dear Leader. Kneel before Zod.”

Great-Auntie Chris

Great-Uncle Bob

“Really? You think you can just pick me up and I’ll forgive you? Just like that? I’m still mad at you, lady!”

“Okay, I forgive you.”

We had another rough day today! We had a nice visit from Aunti Staci, but pretty soon Leah started coughing and gagging on her tube because it was clogged. When the nurse replaced it, somehow the positioning wasn’t quite right, because after a few minutes Leah started gagging and would not stop! The nurse had gone on her lunch break by that time and the nurses who were covering for her helped me suction her mouth – ultimately we had to just leave the tube out for a bit because every time the nurses tried to put it back in, Leah would just cough and gag and turn unpleasant colors in the face. Finally BabyBug’s nurse came back and just re-taped the whole thing, and then after that it was fine for most of the day. She did have another little episode later in the day where she started gagging a bit and coughed up a spitball, but at least it wasn’t as bad as that first episode. It was not fun!! She wore herself out, too; she slept for a good chunk of the day. Poor kid. She puts up with so much! It seems like this is happening more and more often as she grows.

I love my crazy Aunti Staci!

“E.T. Phone Home!” Craaaaaazy Aunti Staci strikes again.

Catching her breath during a tube change. Poor tubeless BabyBug!

“What an exhausting day!”